Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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