just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
