Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
