The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
