did you get engaged???
My first STD was from a foam party
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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