There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
