Sponge bath it is.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
3pm strippers are depressing
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize