there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I want her autograph on my taint
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
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I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours