I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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