Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize