im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize