that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.