I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles