All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
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stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi