Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics