dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
