I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize