turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize