She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
