I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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