i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
