i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
