I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
