Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
