matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He did a backflip because drugs
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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