You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize