one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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