Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
