And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Fuck appropriateness.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
