Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
