what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Use "feeling words"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...