My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister