This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
