i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
