I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My vagina is officially offended.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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