420 ftw
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
