Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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