You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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