just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I love you. Go after that dick
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