Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
