Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize