i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
