I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
