she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.