Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie