no, he came in my armpit
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
