Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
