Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
