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shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
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