I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
COCAINE IS GR8