It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize