i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize