I'm drive I can fine osifer
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize