so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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