This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
