evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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